- If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public.
- No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.
- Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don’t even have to comb your own hair.
- Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.
- No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might actually think you’re cute.
- Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours.
- You can spend hours just smelling stuff.
- No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it’s someone else’s fault.
- It doesn’t take much to make you happy. You’re always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.
- Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.
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